Like many gardeners I have plants that I favor over others. My Joseph’s Coat climbing rose, my agave cacti and a 50-year-old grapevine spring to mind. I really enjoy my 3rd generation philodendron which extends across three walls of my dining room (it REALLY likes the skylights!)
Anything new that’s caught my eye at a nursery usually gets preferential treatment for awhile. I fuss over, and read up on what the websites say is the best growing conditions for it. Normally I have already scouted out a permanent living place for it in the house or yard before I buy it, though I am guilty of a spontaneous purchase because its fronds beckoned alluringly as I wandered through Plant World.
I bought a really lovely bougainvillea and put it in a planter in front of the house one summer. It was Stop-and-look-at-me beautiful even in the heat with brilliant purple-red flowers. As winter set in, I became a bit concerned. They don’t like cold. So, I trimmed it back a bit, dug it up and put it in a big pot in my sunroom where it continued to delight all winter long. The plant was a might too enthusiastic. I kept having to trim it back to be able to walk through the room without being scratched by the toxic little thorns that grow along it’s vines.
The next summer I put it back outside, but this time I tried to put it someplace that it might be able live all year. After all, if these plants are used as roadside décor in Phoenix, then the lower temperatures of Albuquerque shouldn’t phase them at all, right?
The spot it was in an area protected from the elements, which it did not like as much as the first location. It did flower, but not as densely and even though New Mexico winters are not as cold as places in the Midwest, the first little frost began its nose dive into becoming compost.
Yes, plants in the desert can get too much water and too much shade.
Frequently people who grew up in the Midwest long for specific plants that graced the landscape in their youth – most notably of course being grass. My husband, Wolf, is one such person and so wherever we live he has to have at least one small area devoted to grass.
One of the houses we inhabited for a few years was on top of a mountain foothill – the small redwood cabin had very little vegetation at 8,000 feet other than pin oaks, pinon, and other fir trees. As usual, Wolf bemoaned the lack of grass. I happened to be driving down in town where someone had decided to take out their sod in order to xeriscape their front yard. The owner was only too delighted to let me pile some of it in my pickup truck, so I took it home. Wolf unloaded the small pile and created a patch of grass near the back door that was a total of 5 feet square!
I have the most ridiculous photo of him mowing it with a lawnmower.
Wolf’s dad came from Iowa and loved to garden. Though Wolf is not plant oriented (other than grass) he remembers the odd pearls of wisdom imparted by his father. The number one thing he remembers his dad saying is that if something is turning brown – water it.
Occasionally I will bring home a plant he actually takes an interest in – usually a tree – and he will water it….and water it…and water it. When the leaves start to turn yellow, he waters it some more. I tried to tell him that when leaves turn yellow with green veins it is frequently a sign of overwatering.
So far, I’ve replaced the young Red Maple saplings three times – he just loves them to death.
One of the greatest moral dilemmas of being a plant lover happens when a plant is attacked through insect invasions. I don’t want to scatter poisons all over the yard – especially the vegetable garden! How can I protect my delicate little tomato, bean, and squash plants?
There are pages and pages of advice on the internet. They recommend scattering diatomaceous earth (finely ground coral) around the base of plants because it has really tiny spikes that will rip up the delicate underbellies of snails, slugs and other small insects. But wait! Aren’t we trying to protect the coral reefs around the world? How can we steal the lovely, living coral just to grind it up into itty bitty tiny spikes meant to torture the cute little snails and roly-polys?
Of course, the worst are the squash bugs. There is never just ONE squash bug, they always appear in a crowd. Half are climbing on the backs of the other half making MORE squash bugs. This grey shield shaped Coreidae is the horniest critter in the insect world. Did you know their young are called nymphs?
Since squash bugs live in a constant state of post-coital euphoria, they don’t move very fast, so you can just catch them by hand and dump them in a bucket of soapy water (Here, you oversexed cucurbit monster – take a cold bath!) But when it is already hot outside that’s a lot of extra work.
My methods are quicker and more soul satisfying. I duck into the tool shed to grab a 100-foot extension cord and a Shopvac. Plug it in, flip the switch, lift the leaves to expose the vermicious knids and WHOOSH, bugs gone. Then I find the leaves where tiny, shiny, brown eggs have been laid and do some careful surgery.
I really love my fruit trees. I have two varieties of apple trees – Fuji and Honeycrisp. These two varieties blended together make an awesome applesauce, and an even better apple butter – but the most wonderful combination comes when you add one special ingredient to the last couple hours cooking down the apple butter – Green Chili!
The sweet, cinnamon flavor of apple butter can really fling your eyes open when the latent heat from the pepper’s capsaicin slams into your taste buds.
There is a dilemma near the beginning of the growing season – a month after the bees have finished their dance through the apple blossoms. You see the apple trees like to explode with clusters of fruit per twig. That sound wonderful, right? Who doesn’t want lots and lots of apples? Aren’t all those little green apples adorable?
The problem is that little green apples are all trying to grow into big red apples….and the twigs they are anchored to don’t have enough space for them all to achieve that goal so if you leave them alone all you may end up with is small gnome looking wrinkled fruit. In order for you to get a really good harvest you have to eliminate all but one or two little green apples per twig. YOU have to KILL more than half of the babies on the branch! It’s torturing my soul as I carefully choose and twist off those little green baby apples. Yes, I admit it…I kill baby apples.
I can’t listen to that 60’s song by Bobby Russell without hanging my head in shame.
Luckily, I usually forget all about that at harvest time.
One of the things that I have noticed, but often ignore, is that a lot of my plants seem to prefer I go on vacation more often. I worry that they won’t get enough water or that the summer heat will overwhelm them or that bugs will eat them….so I fertilize and talk to them and spray them with a pepper/onion/garlic combination that is supposed to discourage insects. When I go on vacation the house sitter just waters on a regular schedule as instructed.
She doesn’t love them to death.
Rosie Kern writes about gardening from the heart and brings it to us with wit and unusual insights in her latest book, “The Competently Quirky Parables of an Eccentric Master Gardener.” The book is available on Amazon and can be ordered through local bookstores with this ISBN: 978-0-9985725-5-0.
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